Planetary Healing Light Ritual

Near Death they call it. Near Death, 5 Minute Manifestation Program I call it a living death. I call it a living death because in that moment that seemed so small in time I experienced all of time. All of everything I have never experienced and all I still desire to do. Some part of me. A part that has never known consciously what it is that I desire to do. In that one moment as I felt my own breath choke me I felt the life leave my body and my soul was born free. I felt the joy, the freedom and then the fear. The fear of leaving the life I had been creating, the fear of leaving my young children motherless at such a tender age, a tender age, why leave your children at any age? Do we not promise to be there for them body and soul the moment they are born. Do we not live as part of them as they grow.

I write constantly and yet it has pained me to write of this experience. Not because of the power or implication of the words I choose to use but it has held me in its grasp, it has held me in the fear and the intensity of emotions so strong. I have felt everything there is to feel and yet I have felt nothing at all. The pain I feel still brings me to tears and the emotion of losing my children and them losing me is still so intense that I cannot bear to feel the experience again, to connect with the energy of that moment and yet I know it is something that must be done. For I may never be the same again. I know that death was not destined for me on that day but I know that I my life will never be the same again. Life cannot go back to how it was. Everything has change, everything within me.

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